I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
