Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can I color on your dick again?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
