No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
