He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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