wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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