No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
honey bunches of taint.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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