sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
