Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
