btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
