it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
