Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
