But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
