So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
