how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
