erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
