sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
