I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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