i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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