Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
