he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
