i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
