from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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