If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
