kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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