Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
