Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
