C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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