Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
