Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Mom said you looked used
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
