I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
