You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
