You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
