How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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