taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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