no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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