If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
