its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
