i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
