I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
