idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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