new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
