you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
