Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
