You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
