3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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