Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
