Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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