Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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