I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
