I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
