What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
