problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry about my life...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
