your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
