there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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