So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
